Chicks and Dudes: What is the Deal?

This is a look at how chicks (females) and dudes (males) look at the world in relationship to my favorite subject, S-E-X .  Men, grab a brew and use this as a chance to find out a little something about your wife, girlfriend, or wanna-be sex partner.  The ladies love when you pay attention and it will look like you are full of insight into their mysterious world.  Ladies listen up and find some things out about your man that may help you in being the uber-cool wife or girlfriend.  This is for the single, those in a relationship, those not in relationship, and the married too.  On one side I will have what the chick hears or think it means and on the other what the dude hears and what he thinks it means. My job will help you look like the all-star of the relationship world instead of the loser that you might be if you screw some of these things up.

  • Foreplay: Chicks may say to their man “Honey I need more foreplay before sex.” Women are saying here to you guys:  Take more than five minutes to get the motor started and you will get much more out of it later.  Men who say they want more foreplay ( which I have never heard a guy use in a sentence ) may tell their significant other : “Honey can you do a little something for me?”  Translation: Ladies  you need to get to work in the oral sex department. I am not saying all the time but give a little.  Keep in mind:  Women are like a oven and take a little bit of time to get hot but stay hot for a while. Men are more like a microwave that gets hot quick and heats up the meal and shuts off.
  • A Night Out: Chicks say : ” Let’s go out for a nice night.” Chicks are saying to you that they would like some kind of plan for the evening that involves a little forethought on your part.  Possibly a few choices of restaurants or activities.  There is this thing called the internet guys that helps you even come up with ideas.  Most larger cities have the citysearch.com that allows you to just check out most romantic restaurants or coolest bar.  They even have phone numbers to help you call and make the reservation.  Men say: “Let’s go out for a nice night.”  What they mean is “Let’s go to the local sports bar have some beer,wings, and chill.” For a lot of men that is close to heaven and if you can find a chick who digs that as a nice night then you are in luck. Meet in the middle  men and women.  Look at what the other person might think is great and give a little. Women look at going to the new restaurant that you want to go to and then suggest after that grabbing a few drinks at the local sports bar.  Men take a note and figure out where the restaurant is and if you need reservations. With a little bit of luck, you are getting laid that night.
  • Sexual turn-ons: Most chicks do like sex(at least occasionally for some and a lot more for some of the women like  me) and there are some things which make them extra aroused if the men take a second to find out what it is.   Chicks say:  ” I love a man who can give me what I need.”  The chick is talking about the fact that she wants to be asked what she wants before being seduced.  Men all you must do is ask the questions about what turns them on… You might think you know but trust me women like to tell you what they want.  Men say: “I like a girl who knows how to please a man.”  Men mean that they want less conservation and more action.  They want more than the standard missionary position for approximately 13 minutes followed by cuddling and sleep.  They still would like the sleep but they are asking for the girl to shall we say “be a freak in the bedroom.” Women before getting your panties all in a bunch, just think outside the box ( I know nice choice of words there) and live a little. Make some noise or give the man a mind-blowing blowjob he won’t soon forget.

Of course there are many other things I could mention in this article which might help you in the romance department , but this was just a few of the common mistakes that the chicks and the dudes make when relating to each other.  It happens in relationships, in hook-ups, and in marriages all of the time.  Just think aren’t you lucky to have me to help guide you through these murky waters?  Shoot me a comment and let me know if I am off base or right on as your feedback is always appreciated.  Now if we could only figure out the the whole television remote problem…

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4 responses to “Chicks and Dudes: What is the Deal?

  1. You are too funny…but oh so right!

  2. Pingback: Best Freakin’ “Ass-ets” on the ‘Net | Room 704

  3. Here via 704. Looks pretty spot-on. 😀

  4. HA! My fav part: “Ladies you need to get to work in the oral sex department. I am not saying all the time but give a little. Keep in mind: Women are like a oven and take a little bit of time to get hot but stay hot for a while. Men are more like a microwave that gets hot quick and heats up the meal and shuts off.”

    Seriously tho, why not give oral all the time? If you know it pleases your partner, should be a no brainer!

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