Pretty Shiny Things

Welcome to the Holiday season!  For me we celebrate  Christmas, for others Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or even Festivus (popularized by Frank Costanza on Seinfeld).  A common thread could be the fact that there are special foods or traditions unique to each of these celebrations.  I have however chosen to look at the holidays in my own special way.  I mean,  this is my blog and I love to offer my own  sometimes twisted but mostly entertaining views on everything.  I was considering writing about  comparing Christmas cookies to different kinds of people and then I thought also of  perhaps comparing people to different kinds of ornaments.  I shot all of them down as you can see from the title and decided to focus on pretty shiny things over the holidays. Why? I am going to look at some of the pretty shiny objects adorning ourselves or decorating our homes at the holidays.  I could just leave it at that but what fun would that be? How about what kind of lover you are based on the kind of pretty shiny thing you choose?

  • Christmas Balls These people like the very traditional predictability of the classic shape.   As  lovers, these folks are the people who prefer the bed for  “the deed” often in the predictable sexual positions.   For those types that make their Christmas balls (I said balls … okay enough already of the juvenile comments) different with glitter or an unusual color/material they tend to be a little more daring in terms of maybe mixing it up in the postitions and perhaps the location as well.  Staying inside the house however is where this person prefers to remain.
  • Tinsel Tinsel is the kind of decoration that stands up and says “take notice of me.”  While it may be common it is always in a metallic color which loves to be adorned all over the house.  Does this appeal to you?  This lover is fun to be around and has a joyful and giving attitude.  You get a “lot of bang” for the buck so to speak.  This lover is open to looking at a  number of different ways of  relating to their lover and can go anywhere in terms of location.  Outside? Sure. On the lawn? Sure.  At a Christmas party? Sure.
  • Menorah The Menorah is the traditional eight branched candle holder which holds those beautiful candles which give out the pretty shiny lights on those eight nights of Hanukkah.   This kind lover is selfless and when tired from the day continues to give the most to their lover.  Women,  really this guy says he is tired but works to please you for hours more than thought possible. (or vice versa )  Instead of only having one romp in them this lover performs several more times!
  • Lights I have included a clip of  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation which might sum it up.  You have to watch the clip because it does get to the big finale.   This is the lover who has one brilliant performance in him or her and then for the rest of the year is totally dim or non-existant.  You can make an argument that for that month or so, the sex is outstanding.  
  • Festivus Pole The Festivus Pole can be small or large depending on how you like your festivus poles… (trying to write that with a straight face) It can be  shiny and can be made to look lusterless as well. I think you might get the point that this is really a choice of what you like in terms of your festivus pole (ahem).  This lover works with what he has so to speak.

Now there are so many more kinds or decor as well as different lovers.  I tried to come up with the lover who is adventruous and will do anyone or anything almost anywhere and I could not come up with a comparable big shiny holiday object.  I would love to hear what you think this kind of lover might be.

As for me I think I am a glistening display of sparkly and pretty items  that is on the hearth displayed with pride.    I shine all year long but maybe is a tad shinier for the holiday season.  Also like the holiday decorations and adornments,  I tend to enjoy the attention and add sparkle to any lover who I may be with.

Please enjoy your holiday decorations and your holiday lovers as well.  Remember too that you don’t need someone else to sparkle on your own so shine your light, baby!!


2 responses to “Pretty Shiny Things

  1. I have balls wrapped with tinsel sitting on top of a Menorah. What does that make me?

  2. Hmm – I love tinsel and my hubby can’t get enough strands of lights – sounds like a good mix!

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