My Kind of Fantasy Camp

There are these opportunities  called fantasy camps that allow adults to  indulge in and  live out their desire to be a rock star, hockey player, etc.   There is a whole website called GrownUpCamps.com that is designed for the adult who just wants to live out their dream of being something else other than what they are in their normal life  for a week.  In daydreaming thinking about it,   I was imagining what the Showing Off My Assets  (SOMA)  Fantasy Camp might look like.  Take a trip with me to a different kind of camp filled with some of the  ideas you have come to expect from me…  I would offer the camp at someplace that would give off a sexy vibe,  but  also out of the way so that our campers could feel free to be whatever they wanted to be.  Antigua came to mind and I think the sand between the toes lends itself to our fantasy camp.

Camp SOMA

We now have the location pinned down.   What would be offered at this SOMA fantasy camp? Here are a few of the classes offered throughout the week :

• Stripping 101:  Learn How to Take It Off
• Learn How to Work the Pole
• Creative Juices Flowing :   A class designed to help you get in touch with putting those hot fantasies on paper
• The Art of Seduction:   Learn the Ways to Seduce Anyone
• Kama Sutra Explained
• What Not to Wear when Seducing:   Our version includes a “makeover” turning one of our campers from “oh no no” to “ooh la la”
• Use of Sex Toys, Bondage, and Kink:    with free toys provided from Eden’s Fantasy
• Writing a Sexy Blog:  Taught by yours truly
• Self Confidence: Learning to feel good in the body and mind you were given

These classes would be informative and free with plenty of time left to take care of yourself or your partner after each class.  This camp would focus on taking a fantasy of yours and preparing for a end of camp “performance.”  At the rock -n-roll fantasy camps they always have a final gig showing the week’s worth of learning.  Our campers would come up with a fantasy at the beginning of camp and come up with a way to express themselves in a fun party at the end of the week.  An example might be a fantasy of being a stripper on stage and performing a small striptease on stage.  Of course with our campers libations would be served at all classes and activities if desired.  Parties and mixers would be nightly allowing our campers to “get to know each other” in any ways the campers might like.  The most important fact of this camp is that there would be no judgments placed on anyone.   We would want our campers to feel comfortable in whatever they wanted to do while at camp and learn the art of self-confidence comes from within.

A Class Offered

I am proud to announce that Showing Off My Ass-ets has a new advertiser to announce today.  Eden’s Fantasy is is a company which offers a large assortment of adult products from sex toys, lingerie, and anything you might need to “get your groove on.”  The most exciting thing is however that they have a new and awesome reference called  SeXis which is an online magazine which I  use  for reference and inspiration all of the time.  It is a place with great articles, discussions, and forums on all things related to sexuality.  It fills a need that our society has for sex education, tips, and discussion.

It would make sense then if as in my fantasy I was able to have a fantasy camp like the one I have described that it would of course be sponsored by a company like Eden’s Fantasy.  So anyone want to sign up for a non-traditional fantasy camp where you have fun and engage in your fantasies?  I am thinking if it takes off and I can swing it, my readers could get a discount on it.  (Laughs)  It is summer and kids can’t be the only ones who get to go to camp and have fun.   Get out there and stay sexy!



Chicks and Dudes: What is the Deal?

This is a look at how chicks (females) and dudes (males) look at the world in relationship to my favorite subject, S-E-X .  Men, grab a brew and use this as a chance to find out a little something about your wife, girlfriend, or wanna-be sex partner.  The ladies love when you pay attention and it will look like you are full of insight into their mysterious world.  Ladies listen up and find some things out about your man that may help you in being the uber-cool wife or girlfriend.  This is for the single, those in a relationship, those not in relationship, and the married too.  On one side I will have what the chick hears or think it means and on the other what the dude hears and what he thinks it means. My job will help you look like the all-star of the relationship world instead of the loser that you might be if you screw some of these things up.

• Foreplay: Chicks may say to their man “Honey I need more foreplay before sex.” Women are saying here to you guys:  Take more than five minutes to get the motor started and you will get much more out of it later.  Men who say they want more foreplay ( which I have never heard a guy use in a sentence ) may tell their significant other : “Honey can you do a little something for me?”  Translation: Ladies  you need to get to work in the oral sex department. I am not saying all the time but give a little.  Keep in mind:  Women are like a oven and take a little bit of time to get hot but stay hot for a while. Men are more like a microwave that gets hot quick and heats up the meal and shuts off.

• A Night Out: Chicks say : ” Let’s go out for a nice night.” Chicks are saying to you that they would like some kind of plan for the evening that involves a little forethought on your part.  Possibly a few choices of restaurants or activities.  There is this thing called the internet guys that helps you even come up with ideas.  Most larger cities have the citysearch.com that allows you to just check out most romantic restaurants or coolest bar.  They even have phone numbers to help you call and make the reservation.  Men say: “Let’s go out for a nice night.”  What they mean is “Let’s go to the local sports bar have some beer,wings, and chill.” For a lot of men that is close to heaven and if you can find a chick who digs that as a nice night then you are in luck. Meet in the middle  men and women.  Look at what the other person might think is great and give a little. Women look at going to the new restaurant that you want to go to and then suggest after that grabbing a few drinks at the local sports bar.  Men take a note and figure out where the restaurant is and if you need reservations. With a little bit of luck, you are getting laid that night.

• Sexual turn-ons: Most chicks do like sex(at least occasionally for some and a lot more for some of the women like  me) and there are some things which make them extra aroused if the men take a second to find out what it is.   Chicks say:  ” I love a man who can give me what I need.”  The chick is talking about the fact that she wants to be asked what she wants before being seduced.  Men all you must do is ask the questions about what turns them on… You might think you know but trust me women like to tell you what they want.  Men say: “I like a girl who knows how to please a man.”  Men mean that they want less conservation and more action.  They want more than the standard missionary position for approximately 13 minutes followed by cuddling and sleep.  They still would like the sleep but they are asking for the girl to shall we say “be a freak in the bedroom.” Women before getting your panties all in a bunch, just think outside the box ( I know nice choice of words there) and live a little. Make some noise or give the man a mind-blowing blowjob he won’t soon forget.

Of course there are many other things I could mention in this article which might help you in the romance department , but this was just a few of the common mistakes that the chicks and the dudes make when relating to each other.  It happens in relationships, in hook-ups, and in marriages all of the time.  Just think aren’t you lucky to have me to help guide you through these murky waters?  Shoot me a comment and let me know if I am off base or right on as your feedback is always appreciated.  Now if we could only figure out the the whole television remote problem…

The Naked Truth Revealed

I like the way I am in the buff… You heard me right I like the way I look sans the clothing.(along with clothing on too by the way)  I was moved to write this post by a story written in The O Magazine by Laurie Redmond. (titled The Nude Attitude).  I know that a lot gets made of what a woman in today’s society should look like and which body parts should be bigger (breasts) and smaller ( abs).  I have to tell you that I want to put it out there as a female that if you love your body others will love it too… Take a minute to think about that and let me put a few reasons why I feel this way.

I am a hot-blooded American woman who feels that I do need some work here and there but I generally feel like I have a great personality and charm that makes me happy with who I am.  I know that does not have to translate to me feeling sexy, hot, or confident in the bedroom in my birthday suit. A perfect quote I found in this article was found that said:

Her confidence isn’t rooted in her clothing size or facial features but in her attitude—fun, delightful, free.

I am not a perfect size 4 or am the ideal weight but I do have to say that I like who I am.  I was give breasts that I think are ample and men seem to like.  I like the fact that as a woman I possess these womanly gifts and will gladly put “the girls” out there proudly.  I love the fact that my hips are that of a female and that I have the curves in all of the right places… I don’t say that my body is taking the best bod contest but I  do have to say that as a woman I like the way my hips and thighs cannot be confused with a man’s.

As I have become older and somewhat more wise, I tell you that my sexiness has increased.  I don’t need my husband, partner, or anyone else to tell me.  I feel on my own that I am a woman who deserves notice and I give that gift to myself.  In doing so I am able to project that onto others and they view me as being comfortable in my own self.  I know when I lay in bed naked  that I am wonderful just the way I am.  That does not mean that I don’t strive for being healthier, it means only that I know that I have it “going on” and I am proud of my body right now.  The way I think does effect the way I carry myself, the things I say, and the people I attract to my life. I can choose to feel good in who I am or I can waste energy on being something that someone else has deemed worthy.  No thanks on that.

Because when you’re miserable with your own body, you’ve doomed yourself to “compare and despair.”

Women, spend your time being who you want to be,  and not what you think you ought to be for everyone else.  Let me tell you that when I decide to “show off these assets” I let myself feel good.  In doing so I have been successful in drawing people to me who not only appreciate this body and all it has to offer, (whole other post there) but I have led a life that has been filled with experiences that have not been held back because of the hang-ups associated with the body image.

Just writing this post has led me to want to take a bath and go to bed barenaked tonight.  I have nothing to hide and a lot to gain… (smirking)!  Women and men too are you with me?  Take a minute please to comment on what I said and let me know if I am “right on” or way off base…

Nude Bathsheba

Twilight and Other Supernatural Beings

Okay so I am totally going with the theme of the day which is … all things Twilight related. Yes I know that it is very predictable and popular but as always I have my own take on it all.  First of all in order to defend myself, I have been a vampire lover from way back.  I read all of the Anne Rice books in Inteview with a Vampire back in the day of that  book/movie craze.  If you aren’t aware or just living in a hole there is a movie coming out called Twilight in which there is a love story about a vampire and a human girl and the obstacles the couple faces of wanting to “get with your girl” and being tempted by having her for a snack (you know that sounds naughtier than it should!)  So here’s what I am thinking today: Which of the supernatural beings would you like to “be with in the carnal sense” (for the ladies and or the gay guys too) and for the men which of these supernatural beings would you most like to be with or be like?  I am going to give you some suggestions but I encourage you to let me know if there is a supernatural freak that I have left out…

1. Vampire: Okay here is my take on these creatures.. HOT! There is a reason that women want to have these creatures bite their neck.  You don’t see these guys being played by average dudes, hotties of the supernatural world.  Men for you I think that you might get some serious loving if you went with becoming a vampire.  The cons include however: you often kill your potential lady friend and/or you are a snack.  On the plus side, I have to say living forever and not aging good things.  Edward Cullen can suck my neck any ‘ole time he wants.
2. Werewolves: These guys need some  public relations help.  In the world of television and movies they are often depicted in not the greatest of ways.  Taking this back to all things Twilight however the werewolf Jacob presents us with a different kind of werewolf than we have seen before.  He is athletic and muscular.  He has muscular build who Bella is attracted to and is described as large in his build. ( I don’t have to tell you that means big everywhere!)  Werewolves are getting their due and making me rethink my former stance on them.  The cons however: the stinky dog smell that a wolf has after hunting, being too powerful without trying, and yeah possible death to his partner. Men think about giving the werewolves a chance, they are very animalistic and chicks dig that.
3. Vulcans: This is a bit of a stretch but hey it is my blog so go with me here… They are smart and very logical in their thinking, which we know some of our men here on earth may not be.  Now I have a thing for the smart guys and view it as a turn on.  Leonard Nimoy doesn’t do it for me but in the latest Star Trek slated to come out next summer Zachary Quinto plays an updated Spock. For the ladies here there is something to love in a Vulcan, it is only every 7 years that he “wants to get his freak on.”  I am sure during that time he puts the SUPER in supernatural being. Here it is described as  ” Periodically, approximately every seven years, for males and bonded females, Vulcans experience an overpowering mating drive known as pon farr. Once triggered, Vulcans must have sexual contact with someone, preferably their mate, or else face insanity and death.”  Men this could be a chance for you to use this line on the ladies, “Don’t deny me I am in pon farr.”  I mean really who can deny a Vulcan that and for the ladies who are not like me … Sex only once every seven years.

I think that I have given everybody something to think about today and to ponder.  Right now for me it is Edward Cullen the vampire who is” turning my crank” if you know what I mean… but who knows tomorrow maybe I am all about the werewolves?   One thing I can say is that I will be at Twilight tomorrow fantasizing about being with a vampire for sure.  Feel free to comment and give me an idea of what you think… What can I say I have been bitten by the Twilght bug?  ( get it?)

Too much info?

• “TMI” (“too much information”), a slang expression indicating that someone has divulged too much personal information and made the listener uncomfortable.  (from Wikipedia)

How many times have you been in the situation where someone gives you a little more information than you cared to know?  I mean the kind of information where you feel bad that the other person just shared something with you that probably needed to be kept to themselves.  In the world of mental health the professional word for that is personal boundaries.  It means generally that you divulge private information to another person that does not make you or the other person uncomfortable.  Now that changes based on the relationship you have with the person and the ability to gauge what might make that person edgy.  Watch young children, they often have few personal boundaries and will tell neighbors, family members, or even strangers almost anything without blinking an eye. (yes it is usually at the most inopportunate time too)  As adults we hopefully mature to the point that we can sense or identify when someone is becoming a little uncomfortable with the subject matter of Aunt Phoebe’s hemorroids or the repair man who wants to tell you about his wife’s ass.  But there are the people who simply do not get it… They missed the memo about not sharing everything  with anybody or everybody or were gone from class on the day when you learned about reading social cues.  People as a rule will give you some very clear signs of being uncomfortable by not looking directly at you, putting their head down, blushing cheeks, or becoming visibly anxious.  There are many more but I trust ( I know this is me going out on a limb) that you know what they are and if you don’t please pick up a book at your local bookstore on the subject.

Our society however is  generally either on one side of the fence or the other and this is the most problematic for me… As I have shared in my first post I am an open and communicative girl who pretty much puts it out there in an appropriate manner ( most of the time) but I find that people have become much more uncomfortable in open communication and discussion of healthy relationships.  Example,  I have a nameless friend who anytime the subject of sex would come up in general girl chit-chat would say “don’t want to hear it.”  Now let me tell you I was not having an in-depth discussion of the Kama Sutra position used between my husband and myself or the time it took for me to become orgasmic.  (see an example of too much information there) I would simply be stating something about actually having sex with my husband (gasp!) in passing.

So there it is, in the US where I live,  we put sex out there everywhere ( ads, magazines, etc) without having the ability to have an open dialogue about wonderful human sexuality.  I guess for me it becomes clear that I am in the minority often in the ability to discuss sexuality without becoming uncomfortable.  I know that for me I can read the social cues when someone is uncomfortable and don’t want to become the person who shares “TMI”.  For the record however I feel like I am the one who is being genuine and honest and am usually viewed as being a breathe of fresh air in that respect.  What I am here  to tell you is there is a fine line between “TMI” and talking openly about subjects like sexuality.  Please let’s not  become the society that shares too much but let’s also not also become a society that also cannot discuss certain subjects that are part of everyday life and our humanity.  We do the children of our world a disservice if we don’t give them the gift of openness.  Take what you want from what I have commented on above and I would love to hear what you think… I love getting replies and enjoy banter.  And don’t worry I was not going to tell you about the amazing sex I had last night…