What is going on with the mother of the octuplets who were recently born at Kaiser Permanente Bellflower Medical Center?
I speak as someone who had a history of infertility and was given fertility treatments myself. I also speak as a parent of three children who includes a set of twins with another son who is a year younger. My journey began when I became pregnant on my own in 1999. Within weeks however the pregnancy took a turn for the worst as doctors diagnosed me with an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is when the fertilized ovum is implanted in any tissue other than the uterine wall. Most ectopic pregnancies occur in the Fallopian tube. This was extremely difficult knowing the the embryo itself had been fine but was in the wrong spot to grow. My doctor did the test called the HSG which determined if my fallopian tubes were blocked or if they were clear. Upon doing this test it was determined that my tubes were in fact blocked and that my doctor would need to refer me to an infertility specialist called a reproductive endocrinologist. After having exploratory surgery it was determined that I had one tube that was viable and the other was a congenital defect that stopped it from developing when I was in the womb. My doctor took great pains to discuss the options and go over all of the specifics. Our path involved artificial insemination, injectable medications, and finally in-vitro fertilization. We had to pay all costs out of pocket as our insurance did not cover any part of it (which is the case in most of the US). By the time we got to in-vitro (about 2 yrs later) and with those costs included we spent over $20,000. Needless to say we were excited to have 3 embryos of great quality be implanted. That was the most that could be implanted and there are strong guidelines that suggest the number of embryos based on patients age. I had thirteen embryos that were fertilized and remain cryogenically frozen until the time I want to use them or donate them for science. Our twins (boy and girl) were such a blessing and you cannot imagine the surprise when 4 months later I found out I was pregnant again all on my own. My doctor was a very ethical man who adhered to the guidelines set down by the ASRM ( American Society of Reproductive Medicine). I have been through the process which is rough even with a husband. Injecting yourself with medicines, bloodwork, doctor’s visits, etc. It is not an easy road even without taking into consideration the emotional toll. What do I think of the woman who had the octopulets? There are two parties who need to be held accountable in this situation. The patient who I am sure was counseled on her choices and chose a path which both put her health and the babies’ health at risk. After having had the in-vitro fertilization previously, I understand she had eight previously-frozen embryos placed into her womb. Speaking as a mother and as a person who has eight embryos frozen still today, I know that there is no justification for use of all of them at once. The research states that there is not a time limit at this point on when they need to be used so this is not an argument that she had to use them or lose them. The ASRM released a press release regarding the birth of these octuplets by stating: “If this resulted from an IVF treatment, we can say that transferring eight embryos in an IVF cycle is well beyond our guidelines.”
The doctor has not been identified as of yet, but I hold him the most responsible in careless and unethical treatment. He not only went against guidelines set down by the organization that has the most research and experience with these methods, but he put the lives of nine people at risk. The mother and baby were at high risk for serious complications including possible death. Doctors are to give patients options on what the choices are and let them decide. However the doctor is the one who can also refuse to treat someone based on the fact that it is against medical advice. This doctor must be held accountable for the actions he took to make this possible. The costs of caring for these premature babies are extremely high and financially it is a drain on whoever pays this bill. Most likely the bill will not cover everything and there will be additional costs that the hospital would try to collect or have to write off as a loss. At any point in this process the doctor who was treating her could have said to her ” I will not treat you, because I do not support your decision.” These kind of doctors are in the minority but need to be held accountable.
I won’t respond to the emotional health of the mother but I will say that as a licensed clinical social worker I find her decisions to be not well thought out and possibly damaging to these children. I think that this decision was based on what the mother wanted and the risks to the babies were not primary. I am someone who prides myself in being empathetic and non-judgmental, but on this subject I feel qualified to offer my opinion. We can only hope that the children are not the ones who will have to pay for the mother’s choice. This job is hard enough for me with twin six year old children and a five year old child with a husband. I wish this family well on a journey of unexpected twists and turns. It most surely will be a journey that which will require much support, and for that I hope she finds it. We are not to put the blame on these children, but we do need to make someone accountable for this situation. We can only stop and say “Eight is enough.”
As I was coming up with what I wanted to write about I began to think about some of the most overused popular abbreviations and/or acronyms on the ‘net and I decided to come up with my own list of abbreviations that would serve as an alternative to the ones used now. There are abbreviations and/or acronyms that I find just don’t fit with my needs. Due to the fact I am an extremely bright creative type I decided to create some acronyms of my own. For reference, I did look up the most common abbreviations/acronyms at IMHut.com. It was not a complete list but it helped as a jumping off point…
Don't we all need this?
Here a few of the most commonly used acronyms:
LOL= Laughing out loud
ROFL= Rolling on floor laughing or rolling on floor laughing my ass off (ROFLMAO)
BRB= Be right back
OMG=Oh my gosh (or God) or OMFG=Oh my fucking gosh ( or God)
IMHO= In my humble opinion
JK= Just kidding
TTFN=Ta ta for now (in my opinion, have always hated this one)
TY=Thank you
I could come up with many others but these are some very common ones used and I know propose some new abbreviations to convey perhaps a different sentiment. I know that you may not have the need to use these but I will gladly let anyone use these if they would like.
PIMP= Peed in my pants, as in that joke you sent made me PIMP!
NWMT= not worth my time, eg. that movie was so NWMT.
BOOMM= Bored out of my mind , eg. during that presentation I was BOOMM
CYBTS= Can you believe that shit?
SMF= Stuff my face, eg. BRB goin’ to SMF
NCIH= No chance in Hell, eg. you have NCIH with her
DILLIC= Do I look like I care?
TRS= That really sucks.
PT= Potty time
FFA= Fun for all, eg. that party will b FFA.
YAWOL= You are way out of line
NSB= Need sex bad , can add a T for tonight (NSBT)
BC= Booty call
WUT= What do you think?
SOS= Someone is over my shoulder, eg. SOS talk later.
BIV= Boss in vicinity, or whoever you want to put in front of it. HIV=husband in vicinity, KIV= kid in vincinity
NSS= Not so smart, eg. did something NSS yesterday
HIS= Hottie in sight
LOML= Love of my Life or lust of my loins
TUT= tweet you tomorrow ( for those of us who use twitter)
BAD= Being a dick
BAB= Being a bitch
AW4U= All wrong for you, eg. that guy is AW4U
NOTM= Never occurred to me, eg. that idea NOTM
BBE= Best blog ever, eg. showing off my assets is BBE!
ROAN= Rockin’ out all night
FWB= friend with benefits, eg. Sam is FWB.NH= Not happening, eg. going out tonight is NH
H4U= Hot for you
SUS= Seriously you suck ,eg. SUS for ditching me for that dude.
TML=Text me later
There you go. A few new abbreviations that you can add to your chat,IM, text or whatever to help make your life more colorful. I encourage you to start using them. When someone asks “Where did you hear that?” just tell them that you got it from the BBE! (best blog ever) in case you forgot. As always your comments are encouraged and appreciated. I would love to add to my list if you want to shoot me some new abbreviations I will be happy to add them on to this list. Enjoy—–
OHB ( translation) One happy (or horny,hot,etc.) blogger
I like the way I am in the buff… You heard me right I like the way I look sans the clothing.(along with clothing on too by the way) I was moved to write this post by a story written in The O Magazine by Laurie Redmond. (titled The Nude Attitude). I know that a lot gets made of what a woman in today’s society should look like and which body parts should be bigger (breasts) and smaller ( abs). I have to tell you that I want to put it out there as a female that if you love your body others will love it too… Take a minute to think about that and let me put a few reasons why I feel this way.
I am a hot-blooded American woman who feels that I do need some work here and there but I generally feel like I have a great personality and charm that makes me happy with who I am. I know that does not have to translate to me feeling sexy, hot, or confident in the bedroom in my birthday suit. A perfect quote I found in this article was found that said:
Her confidence isn’t rooted in her clothing size or facial features but in her attitude—fun, delightful, free.
I am not a perfect size 4 or am the ideal weight but I do have to say that I like who I am. I was give breasts that I think are ample and men seem to like. I like the fact that as a woman I possess these womanly gifts and will gladly put “the girls” out there proudly. I love the fact that my hips are that of a female and that I have the curves in all of the right places… I don’t say that my body is taking the best bod contest but I do have to say that as a woman I like the way my hips and thighs cannot be confused with a man’s.
As I have become older and somewhat more wise, I tell you that my sexiness has increased. I don’t need my husband, partner, or anyone else to tell me. I feel on my own that I am a woman who deserves notice and I give that gift to myself. In doing so I am able to project that onto others and they view me as being comfortable in my own self. I know when I lay in bed naked that I am wonderful just the way I am. That does not mean that I don’t strive for being healthier, it means only that I know that I have it “going on” and I am proud of my body right now. The way I think does effect the way I carry myself, the things I say, and the people I attract to my life. I can choose to feel good in who I am or I can waste energy on being something that someone else has deemed worthy. No thanks on that.
Because when you’re miserable with your own body, you’ve doomed yourself to “compare and despair.”
Women, spend your time being who you want to be, and not what you think you ought to be for everyone else. Let me tell you that when I decide to “show off these assets” I let myself feel good. In doing so I have been successful in drawing people to me who not only appreciate this body and all it has to offer, (whole other post there) but I have led a life that has been filled with experiences that have not been held back because of the hang-ups associated with the body image.
Just writing this post has led me to want to take a bath and go to bed barenaked tonight. I have nothing to hide and a lot to gain… (smirking)! Women and men too are you with me? Take a minute please to comment on what I said and let me know if I am “right on” or way off base…
Have you ever wondered why we don’t have Inauguration Day off in the United States? I know that we often taut the USA as the beacon of democracy and we want to be held to a high standard when it comes to our freedom and rights. I wonder why then we do not as a country take one day every 4 years to celebrate the way in which we peacefully transition from one president to another? I can tell you that I believe that a majority of people would like to at least watch some part of the day’s activities and our youth need to know that it is a day for celebration of our country. I know there are many reasons why many people feel that we should not have this day off, but I propose that we should relish our freedom and celebrate this day. Let’s take a bold step in asking that we as US citizens take a chance to participate in this day from now on. Come on America let’s take this day to celebrate our freedoms and remember why we are so glad to be Americans. Do we really think that on President’s Day our students and youth take time to remember Lincoln and Washington?
Let’s just take a step and make this day a special one that all our citizens and visitors can enjoy. Can we really consider ourselves the best and brightest if we are not able to take a day to reflect on a uniquely American experience? C’mon let’s celebrate America!
As a modern female in this world I have to tell you that I do not get the anti strip club viewpoints of most women. Now I will tell you that my research is based on many years of listening to many women complain about these gathering places. I am going to give my ideas on why I don’t really think it is that big of an idea and why these women ought to be applauded for doing this job. I can tell you that my hubs more than once in our marriage has been encouraged by yours truly to take a stack of ones and hit the gentleman’s club. I will admit that I even have become jealous that there is not the same equality for women to go to strip clubs to see men take it off. Now I know that there may be a few of these places for women but the caliber of men is poor (at least that is what I have heard)
Why do I think it is perfectly fine for men to go to these places? First of all, there has to be trust with the partners. I don’t have to tell you that if you can’t trust the person that you are with then you have a much bigger problem than the strip clubs. Those non-trustworthy types can’t be trusted to go to the grocery store, the mall, etc. The next reason I give is that have you seen the amount of space between the women who are dancing and the men? There is quite a distance between the two and the strip clubs are very rigid about the no-touch rules as I am sure many men could tell you who have been asked to leave… The men are even asked at some clubs to wear certain types of shoes and nothing on their heads. The women that work at the clubs are not there to be turned on but view it as a job. They work hard to stay in shape and put in the time at a job that people in society might look down on. For this reason I am here to give those women props for working and in most cases supporting children, husbands, boyfriends, etc. We cannot put down anyone who is willing to work and we should not as women make moral judgements about them. Another reason is that most men go with other men and use it as a male-bonding experience. Women might shop with friends and I think of it in the same kind of light. I think that I would be happier my husband going to a strip club than a regular bar with the guys as I think your man could be enticed there easier with women that they can actually hook up with. The whole exploitation of women has never worked on me as I think that women make a choice and are aware of the job responsibilities. They are not forced to work these jobs and many women are paid well for what they do. To sum it all up, I don’t think that it has to be a huge deal breaker in a relationship.
I do not think I am in the norm as I have had these discussions with women many times and have been outnumbered. I have several times after maybe a few cocktails encouraged my husband to “go have fun.” I have asked him to go with his brothers or friends and joke with him that I will give him a stack of ones. I do know that I am uber cool and understanding but in the end, I trust him. It is human to want to look and admire others. I know that my man is always going to come home to me and to our bed. I also know that he gets to do things with me that he is not going to do with a stripper. I have the confidence of knowing I am the real deal!
Shoot me a comment on what you think. Men and women I want to hear your responses.
When I went to bed last night and thought of what I might write about today on my post I thought to myself, ” I have some really crazy-ass dreams on an almost nightly basis, I ought to share a few of those with my readers.” Actually before that I was hoping that I might get some action from the hubs, but I digress… As I crept off to dreamland I pictured all of the lovely places I might go during the time between falling asleep and waking up. Of course last night I dreamt that hubs and I were getting divorced because we had to for a financial reason ( very soap opera like) and we had planned to remarry once we received this large settlement. In the dream I went about doing normal activities and hubs shows up and wants to talk to me. He shows me a woman’s picture and says he is getting remarried. I tell him ” I thought this was just to get that money? ” He says to me “Well it was but now I am going to marry her. ” All I remember about this chick is that she had charcoal tights on with black boots and was rather nondescript. When I ask hubs about what she has that I don’t ( because obviously I am a colorful girl!) he says: : ” Well babe she can get me weed.” Very comical to me,but proof again that lots goes on in my head when I am asleep. I have always had the most interesting dreams that I could remember pretty clearly the next morning. I probably could turn some of my dreams into a movie script as well. For the record, I am very suggestible before sleep so lots of times things creep into my brain, albeit in a very odd way by virtue of a book I read, a television show, a song, or a movie I have watched earlier in the day.
Many of us dream and for most of us it is interesting to remember dreams we have but for me it is entertaining. I often wake up remembering the dreams and as the day goes by little things remind me of something and the dream comes back even in better clarity. I do have to say that a GREAT number of my dreams do have the theme of sex, I mean it is a natural given my thoughts, right? Here is an excerpt from Dreamsnightmares.com :
The Iroquois believed in acting out dream content in real life. They believed that it was necessary to reenact it in order to alleviate physical and psychic distress. They believed it was very important to gratify the soul’s desire either literally or symbolically. It was therefore not unheard of for a male, after dreaming of a group orgy to request that his dream be acted out with the help of the tribe.
I won’t go as far as that but I will tell you there are a number of these top dreams I would love to live out. (parts of them) Here are 3 dreams which have stuck with me my whole life and I still recall details clearly. There is no certain order going on here but they are all honest to goodness dreams I have had in my life.
Almost Famous has a scene which you kind of see in this clip in which Kate Hudson is at a big party that is going on a hotel. You have to look for it because it is brief but you kind of get the flavor of my dream if you watch it. I won’t go over all of the details of the dream but I was at the hotel party hanging out with a lot of cool people doing this and that and I come across my favorite band at the party, Barenaked Ladies and we are having ourselves a good ole time. It has the very 70’s vibe to it with the smoky room and the incense along with the look of scarfs draped over the lamps. I am very visual so I include those facts to give you the picture. Well after singing and dancing wildly around at the party, it becomes clear that at least one, two, or possibly three of the band are going to be “bare naked in my bed.” (wink,wink) Not all at the same time either, do you think I am a freak like that? Anyhow I get to experience the bare-nakedness of three of the band members in a way that still makes me smile… For your information I left Tyler and Jim out of the fun. I love the fact that this dream was one that seemed to last all night and I woke up a very happy fan!
Here is the most memorable dream to date: I had this dream at 15 yrs. and it is for me a pre-cognitive dream. I had never been to Michigan and it was a vivid dream in which I went to Michigan with a friend and went on an adventure which led us to Ann Arbor and the University of Michigan. It was during that dream in which I met a man who I can’t say what he looked like but wore a pink shirt. I remember him being very nice and I woke with the feeling that I might somehow meet this familiar man in my life. I know it sounds perhaps nutty to think this meant anything, but later I met my husband at age 25. He was from Michigan and lived in Ann Arbor and had gone to University of Michigan. I was a girl in graduate school at this time in Indiana and feel that the dream I had at 15 was a glimpse of what was to be.
The last dream was a dream which caused me much sadness as it was a dream in which my husband and I were convicted of a murder we did not commit and sent to death row. The whole dream went through the saga of the trial and then showed us on the prison bus headed for where the execution would take place. The details were striking as I remember the needle being put in my vein and the medicine that stopped my heart. I think the worst part of this dream was when I died and my soul hovered above watching my parents full of grief. They were upset and were picking out things for me to wear for my funeral. I remember watching my husband be executed as well and trying to stop it as someone who was already dead. Hard to get those pictures even now out of my head.
I have given you a brief glimpse into what goes on in my head at night and I find myself wondering what tonight’s dream might be about? Guess I will have to wait and see. Leave a comment on anything or any kind of dreams you may have had. I can tell you that the sex dreams are my most favorite and thankfully seem to be the most regular. Wow I guess I should really be getting to bed about now… Sweet Dreams to all!
“Sugar and spice and everything nice that’s what girls are made of.” I am assuming that most all of you know that cute little saying from nursery rhymes about what girls are supposed to be made of, right? Well I am happy to report to all of you just doing the sweetness aspect of being a female, go ahead and take a rest, and live on the spicy side a bit. For the strictly saucy and spicy women, I also purpose taking a break too and trying on the sweet side for a bit. While I know that this is simplified version of how woman are or/are not it does bear more consideration in my own opinion. ( and that is what you get if you are reading this)
We women are complex creatures and I do not have the time to put in to why men love us. As always I do try to make a point with my posts about things I find interesting and also provide my insight into my own world. These are some suggestions on how you can play both sides of the sweet/spicy card and make it work for you. These are strictly only suggestions and can be altered for your own (umm) purposes.
Sweet with Spicy Ideas:
Cleaning the house seems like a sweet idea, right? Well my suggestion is to be wearing the french maid outfit and either make him help you and get it done really quickly or forget the cleaning all together. Either way a sweet surprise for him.
Writing a love note to your significant other that helps him see the ways in which you love him. My take is that you make a list of all the things you love about your man and then add some actions that you like to go along with it. An example could be : I love the way you smile at me. I especially like when you use those lips on other parts of my body… You get the point. For help click on the link to take you to website to help you write the love note.
Take your special someone to a special meal and get yourself all ready for it with a skirt or dress. Let him compliment you on how nice it was for you to plan this and how great you look. That is your cue to slip a note to him from your purse that tells him that you are not wearing underwear or that you have his favorite thong on.
Text message him and tell him that you think he is the best man and how much he is loved. Follow it up with one that says something like “Hey wanna get in my pants?”
These are just a few of my ideas that might make things sweeter or more spicier with your man. I tend to think a balance is nice and that keeping things new and fresh is the best way to brighten both your day and your lover’s. As for me I am a naughty girl underneath but I play my sweet card when needed. What are you? I think that it is great to be your own person but I think as an individual we owe it to ourselves and others to get outside that comfort zone. If you want to stay on the sidelines of life then you are going to watch the parade go by always wishing you were in it… On the other hand, you don’t want your life to be a circus and you be the leading act either. I suggest giving at least one of these a try and see what happens. You might find out that you like living a little on the spicy side or showing your man that sweetness he does not get to see much. Remember one’s spiciness makes the sweetness sweeter and vice versa. Get out there and live!
There are some great sex studies out there that actually help regular folks like you and I improve our sex lives. (okay we are not regular, but you get the point) There are also studies about sex that just make you say : Can we say obvious? Here is a little recap of some of those ridiculously obvious studies with my own views. You can thank me later for pointing out these studies to you… For my readers who have not come into their own sexuality please take some helpful hints from the studies. I promise not to tell anyone.
Attractive people get more sex. I know this is hard to believe but it is true. I want the study that takes drunk guys or girls however and sees how many times the beer goggles are in play. Beer goggles are :
phenomenon in which one’s consumption of alcohol makes physically unattractive persons appear beautiful; summed up by the phrase, “there are no ugly women at closing time”
Really, you know there is some researcher out there who wants to do this research.
Porn as a sex educator. There is an Austrian study that found that over half of the male youth rely on porn as a tool for sex information. The sad part is how many times is I think many of us know that the quality of the pornography is questionable. Can you say pornography and quality in the same sentence? I again put out there that we as parents and as a society need to be more open with sexuality and stop getting our proverbial “panties in a bunch.”
It’s all in your head. Yes the largest sex organ would be your big … BRAIN! This study showed that men who were concerned about erections had a negative correlation with arousal. I wonder why? Let’s see it makes sense that if someone has anxiety about something that it will affect one’s life in negative ways. The same study also showed : For women, lack of erotic thoughts and failure to control intrusive thoughts were found to impact their sexual response. That seems just hard to believe that the intrusive thoughts about the grocery list during foreplay might contribute to a less than satisfying sexual experience.
I just picked a few off the list of those studies of 2008 but my goal was to just put out there that while this information may be widely known by most, our whole society does a poor job on educating people on a typical and normal part of life. My question is where do I get signed up for being a participant in these studies? I want to do my part to help you know…
Comments are not expected but appreciated always. The cobwebs that formed in my brain over the holidays seem to be clearing and I promise for 2009 to give my readers a few laughs , a smile, and perhaps even a thought provoking point.
